Sheer Melody

A mole's eye-view of the Cosmos

Horrible English songs

Deciding upon the worst songs ever is tough as it is potentially inflammatory. There is always chance of comments appearing out of nowhere on your review, just because of one song. And more than the comments, it’s how you decide on the worst songs ever, on the music, the lyrics or both.

Final countdown (Europe) : We’re heading for Venus, but still we stand tall/’Cause maybe they’ve seen us, and welcome us all . I am sure if those who stay in Venus ever heard lyrics like this, a welcome is the last thing we should expect. A typical hair-band of the eighties, practically all of Europe’s songs explored similar clichés and sound mind-numbingly boring.
I build the garden for us (Lenny Kravitz) : You’ll just be okay with us / We’ll live each day in peace / In hope that we will one day reach / The rest of the world / When they are ready to be teached. Artistic license is something I believe in, but muttering teached in a song? Taking it too far?
Ironic (Alanis Morissette): One of the stupidest songs I have heard in my life. She talks about stuff which is supposed to be ironic, but in reality, isn’t. Like rain falling on your wedding day . That’s not ironic, that’s unfortunate. Like a traffic jam when you are already late. Irony would be you going to a seminar on how you freed the town of traffic congestion, and getting late in a traffic jam in the process.
Every rose has its thorn (Poison): Another hair-band of the eighties, the lyrics go: Every rose has its thorn / Just like every night has its dawn / Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song / Every rose has its thorn. Lead lyricist took a few sayings out of a nursery book, and strung them together to a piece of sappy love-music. Terrible!
Wannabe (Spice Girls): I hate everything by these girls, but this one takes the cake for being the lousiest ever. Yo I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, So tell me what you want, what you really really want, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, So tell me what you want, what you really really want, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna reallyreally really wanna zigzag ha. OK!
Tubthumping (Chumbawumba): A forgettable song by an equally forgettable band. I never figured out how a band could have Pissing the night away in a song.
Around the world (RHCP): Normally a technically proficient band, they have some really good songs. But for this one, I guess all of them just forgot to complete it. I know, I know, for sure / ding ding dang ding ding ding don ding don dang, and thus it goes.
Bills, bills, bills (Destiny’s Child): Can you pay my bills?/Can you pay my telephone bills?/Can you pay my automo’ bills?/Then maybe we can chill/I don’t think you do/so you and me are through. A song which is capable of taking you back in time, way back in time, actually.
Control (Puddle of Mud): I love the way you look at me/I love the way you smack my a**/I love the dirty things you do/I have control of you. Seriously, what was he thinking when he wrote this? A disgrace to rock music, and amazingly misogynistic.
My humps (Black-eyed Peas): My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump / My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. When I first heard this on radio, I wondered if on continued listening, it would reveal itself in some strange, spiritual way. Finally, it did not.
O-bla-di O bla-da (The Beatles): Although I am a big fan of the Beatles and their brand of music, I somehow felt that they had touched rock-bottom with this song. With a dash of brass sections, trumpets and screeching vocals which make no sense, this should be scrapped off all Beatles anthologies.
Ebony and Ivory (Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder): It’s like one of those songs which are supposed to be about racial harmony and all that, but somehow still makes you cringe. To be fair to both of them, the song was written in a time when both of them were starved for ideas. I wish they wouldn’t have asked the whites and the blacks to get along like the keys of the piano. It sounded plain stupid.
My heart will go on (Celine Dion): Normally I hate everything that this lady sings, and her two compatriots, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. But this tops the charts for its somnolent lyrics, and mushy undertone. What could be worse than listening to – Every time I see you, I feel you , or words to that effect, and immediately after that, my heart will go on, and on, and on , and so on and so forth.
Glory Days (Springsteen): Somewhere during the course of the song, he sings: He could throw that speed ball by you / make you look like a fool. One could never figure out what he was actually trying to say, make a comment on drug-abuse or a baseball player.
A** like that (Eminem): I ain’t never seen an a** like that / The way you move it, you make my peepee go doing doing doing. Worst lyrics ever, period.
Skater Boi (Avril Lavigne): I hate this singer with all my heart, and this song just reinforces that. He was a boy, she was a girl / Can I make it any more obvious? I guess she just couldn’t make it any stupider.
Achy Braky heart (Billy Ray Cyrus): Normally country music is a haven for great lyrics. This song unfortunately falls into the same category, and has horrible lyrics which go this way: And if you tell my heart / My achy breaky heart / He might blow up and kill this man.
Oops I did it again (Britney Spears): Yes, this just proves that although Britney is exceedingly aware of her meager compositional skills, she went ahead and made yet another song.
Barbie girl (Aqua): The band got sued by Mattel for degrading their dolls, but that didn’t take this song off air. The only thing that can be worse than listening to Come on Barbie, let’s go party is Aa – ah – ah – yeah.
Quit playing games with my heart (Backstreet boys): A boy band had to feature here, and who better than the quintessential bad boys of pop music. Horrible lyrics, horrible music, and five plainly stupid guys on a music video make this one of the worst songs of all time. The boys have however redeemed themselves and made songs which would put this one to shame, but since this is the most popular, I just had to put it in.


Dada and the wall

Here is a rather interesting post I found on the Telegraph. Most of the post is about the series loss to South Africa in South Africa, with a few comments on the players.

What's interesting is the footnote, here is how it goes:
Sourav and Dravid featured in an 84-run partnership for the third-wicket, but the captain didn’t appear very pleased with his predecessor’s over-involvement with the bowlers, particularly Sreesanth. “Jyada nahin, dadi... jyada nahin” is what a stump mike picked up. Sourav was heard responding “maine bowling ki baat nahin ki... bowling ki nahin...” Hopefully, there’s nothing more to it.

I too sincerely hope there's nothing more to it. Also, before I forget, I should mention that I have a great desire to be privy to the report which Greg Chappell is due to submit to the BCCI in a few days from now.

Too late

My mind is without fetters
It doesn’t know what it thinks
My words come out in a ragged whisper
Damp with alcohol, warped in nicotine
Life seems unreasonable, unnatural
It carries on, with complacent glee
Plods on, with inexorable certainty
A mark in the sand, a walk on the beach
Footsteps fade away to nothingness
Like visions of loneliness, of a family
Of a child still not born
Of a family yet to form

I met a man tonight; he wanted to take me home
I told him he couldn’t, he asked me why
I didn’t know why, and I told him that
Wondering what was it that made me do that
The drizzle drenches me
The raindrops mark a trail down a bleeding heart
Don’t know who’ll buy me tonight
Buy me and let me live another day
A day longer than eternity
Only to end in despair and longing

The bed seems warm, it comforts me
Raindrops splatter on the window
Lights of traffic, and the neon of money
They all comfort me in spurts of erotic fantasy
The bottle falls on the ground
I want to pick it up, but the light seems stronger
I see my child in the distance
He is walking away
Into the light
I want to hug him to me, bring him closer
Make him a part of me, make myself a family
I wonder if I did the right thing
The child has gone, the light still remains
Blinding my eyes, as pain wrecks my body
I want to turn time back, turn the page over
Stain it with a bookmarker
To revisit another day

I guess I did make a mistake
But now, I guess it’s just too late