Sheer Melody

My mind is without fetters
It doesn’t know what it thinks
My words come out in a ragged whisper
Damp with alcohol, warped in nicotine
Life seems unreasonable, unnatural
It carries on, with complacent glee
Plods on, with inexorable certainty
A mark in the sand, a walk on the beach
Footsteps fade away to nothingness
Like visions of loneliness, of a family
Of a child still not born
Of a family yet to form

I met a man tonight; he wanted to take me home
I told him he couldn’t, he asked me why
I didn’t know why, and I told him that
Wondering what was it that made me do that
The drizzle drenches me
The raindrops mark a trail down a bleeding heart
Don’t know who’ll buy me tonight
Buy me and let me live another day
A day longer than eternity
Only to end in despair and longing

The bed seems warm, it comforts me
Raindrops splatter on the window
Lights of traffic, and the neon of money
They all comfort me in spurts of erotic fantasy
The bottle falls on the ground
I want to pick it up, but the light seems stronger
I see my child in the distance
He is walking away
Into the light
I want to hug him to me, bring him closer
Make him a part of me, make myself a family
I wonder if I did the right thing
The child has gone, the light still remains
Blinding my eyes, as pain wrecks my body
I want to turn time back, turn the page over
Stain it with a bookmarker
To revisit another day

I guess I did make a mistake
But now, I guess it’s just too late